Mini Vanilla Bean Scones

Unemployment means you spend a lot of time at coffee shops, alternately searching for jobs on your computer and refreshing Craigslist’s missed connections, hoping someone spotted you and wants to whisk you away to Argentina and/or give you a big bag of money.

I know I’m supposed to choose cool indie coffee shops where I can rub shoulders with artsy farts writing screenplays and drink crunchy eco-friendly coffee, but sometimes it’s nice to just relax and enjoy the big ole’ coffee chains. 

I’ve favored Caribou because of their big cushy leather chairs and the fact that I sort of feel like I’m in Minnesota. However, Starbucks has been blown to the top of the running because of these:

Not only are they completely adorable, they’re crazy tasty.  Teeny tiny scones with little specks of vanilla bean and lightly frosted with melt-in-your-mouth icing. With a steamy americano with lots of milk, it doesn’t get any better… (unless you’re employed and eating these at your desk… THAT would be better.)

Cilantro Mash

 

I love mashed potatoes like any proud American should love mashed potatoes. Sometimes, though, they can be cloying. Too heavy, too mucky, too cloying. So here’s a nice way to freshen them up. summer-time tots, kind of. I made them the other night with barbecue chicken pieces and sauted zucchini. I took my evening meal with some 2 Buck and a few episodes of Say Yes to The Dress. The four of us had a lovely night.

 You’ll need…

•  yellow tots
• large bunch of fresh cilantro
• garlic
• tabasco (optional)
• parmesan cheese
• butter
• milk
• s & p

 Make the potatoes as you normally would make mashed potatoes, then add the chopped or blended cilantro. This would also work with other fresh herbs that you need to use up, like basil or chives. The herbs turn the mash a lovely bright green color. Top with Parmesan cheese and broil for a few minutes for a delish cheesy layer on top.

tj’s greek yog.

trader joe’s greek yogurt (honey flavor) makes me want to create a special category called “foods i’d like to bathe in.” it’s creamy, tangy, with just a hint of honey, and wicked cheap. when i eat it, i feel like those women in yogurt commercials that are so overwhelmed by a spoonful that they have to close their eyes and stretch out in their office chair while a phone-sexish voiceover goes, “smooth. sensual. luxurious. tittilacious,” and pretty harp music plays in the background. 

 

Mad Scientist Salad Dressing.

i like making up salad dressings. bottled ones always taste chemical-ish to me, and making your own is crazy easy and kind of like playing with a chemistry set. a delicious chemistry set. 

i make them in recycled receptacles like old mason jars or used vitamin water bottles. then you can shake ‘em up before salad application. i recommend using a funnel to avoid huge messes. measuring is ridiculous, just keep adding until you get the taste you want. i judge this particular dressing on the color it turns… like a creamy light brown. here’s how i roll:

C’s Creamy Dill Lime Dressing

a lot of olive oil (probably 1/3 cup or so)
a couple glugs of balsamic vinegar (not too much at first… add more later if necessary)
fresh lime juice (squeeze out 2 or 3)
3 loaded tablespoons of mayo or greek yogurt (mayo = better, yog = healthier.)
a couple farts of dijon mustard
a lot of dill (if you use fresh, you need to use about twice as much)
salt/cracked pepper to taste 
pinch of sugar or squirt of honey 

get this all in your bottle, shake shake shake it.
too acidic? add mayo/yog and maybe a teeny bit more sweet to cut the lime.
too strong? add olive oil. 

this is good not only over salad, but over tomatoes or cucumbers or pretty much anything. when i’m feeling frisky, i like to experiment with lemons, other herbs, and different vinegars. go crazy!

wasabi bowl

first, I have to tell you all a joke:

what did sushi A say to sushi B?

wasaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

k on THAT note, I give you the wasabi bowl. My friend Antonia introduced me to a restaurant called Pacific Catch, really yummy Japanese/Hawaiian/California fusion foods like poke, fish tacos and bangin’ sweet potato fries. My favorite thing to order is called the Wasabi Bowl. Its a big mound of steamed rice topped with different sea weed items, avocado, cucumbers, ginger and your choice of fish. Its spicy and fresh and I want it all the time. I made this for C while she was staying with me last time, except because of some diet restrictions I made a spicy red cabbage slaw and used that in lieu of rice!

I totally suggest any fish-lover visit Pacific Catch and order yourself a Wasabi Bowl and then do as I did and try to recreate it at home, if nothing else so you can eat laying down.

-   make steamed jasmine rice as usual. using half coconut milk and half water makes the rice really fragrant.

-   marinade salmon fillets with a combo of soy sauce, sriracha and any marmalade. sprinkle with sesame seeds and sear for 2 mins on high in a pan then transfer it to a really hot oven for about 5 mins.

-   make a little sauce with miso salad dressing, wasabi, soy sauce and rice wine vinegar.

-   lay the fish over rice in a bowl, drizzle with your wasabi sauce and adorn with pickled ginger, avocado slices, sea weed and/or cucumber salad, sprouts*…anything you like.

-   if you like it spicy like I do add a few crimson squirts of sriracha. you’ll want something nearby to put out the fire. I suggest pinot grigio.

-   bon appetite!

*all of these kind of unusual asian-y ingreds can be found at a regular asian market. if you can’t already tell, I live really close to china town.

Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka.

I am not one for sweet liquor.  My days of raspberry Smirnoff swilling at frat parties are over. Finito.  These days, I stick pretty exclusively to good gin and dry wine, so when my ex-boyfriend’s new boyfriend tried to hand me a glass of Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka, I was wary. (Not of the boyfriend, he’s lovely.)

Boy was I wrong. This stuff is delicious, and dangerously so. So… this may be a good time to measure. Or at least make sure you’re in a safe place.

Firefly Arnold Palmer
-Half Sweet Tea Vodka
-Half lemonade (tart = better)
-ice
-garnish with lemon slice, mint, peach, etc.

When I called J to share the joyful news, this is the conversation that ensued:

C: this drink makes me want to sit on a porch swing with you during a thunderstorm

J: ya and wear long cotton nightgowns, and listen to crackly blues playing from an old radio. like, a lady singing, “lovin’ this here man of miiiiiiine..”

C: i done loved heeum so lawwnnngggg

J:  and he done and…and DO ME WROOONG…..

C:  WHAAAAYYY YOU GON LEEEEUV MAEEEEEEE

J:  …here…..here in this miseryyyy OH I SAID THIS MAAAAYULLLNN….this here maaayulnn….he gone and done me wrong

C: maaaahhh mayuln, he ain’t mah mayuln no MOOOOO

 

 

 

someday we will actually do this. we will.

 

 

Polenta.

We both love polenta. It’s a delicious substitute for pasta, and you can put almost anything on top of it, sweet or savory. You can buy it in a box and make it soft, or you can get it in tubes… usually in the pasta aisle of TJs/Whole Foods.  It’s inexpensive and so easy to cook.  I can’t get enough of the above recipe so I haven’t expanded my polenta repetoire, but I watched my Aunt C mix cheese with soft polenta and top it with sauteed mushrooms and a poached egg. Best breakfast of my life!

Polenta Coins with Fancy Sausage and Vodka Sauce

-1 tube of polenta, sliced into 1/2 coins.
-1 jar of vodka sauce (Trader Joe’s makes the best.)
-A couple of fancy sausages. Aidell’s pre-cooked are yum, or Whole Foods usually has good fresh ones that are like, “goat cheese lavender” or “applewood smoked cherryskin.”
-Chopped garlic, tomatoes, onion, squash, peppers, eggplant… any/all of the above. 

-I cut the sausage into coins and cook them, and at the end add veggies to sautee. J takes the casing off of her sausage because it grosses her out, but I don’t care (= too much work.)
-Polenta should be fried in a big pan with a little olive oil and/or butter to lubricate. 
-Sauce is microwaved, or stove heated if you’re feeling fancy.

Once polenta coins are toasty golden-brown, arrange a few on a plate, cover with sauce, and top with sausage/veggie mix. Dust with parmesan. Drink wine. 

Lets Get Our Ud On

Oh man, I’m crazy about udon.

Its this very simple Japanese broth-type soup with big chewy noodles floating around in it. Its just perfect after a long day, you come home cold and tired and just all: ‘Oh MAN, things are HARD. Life is PAINFUL. I’m feeling really beat DOWN’. My favorite brand ever is called Nong Shim Udon. It comes with noodles, broth concentrate and then this little packet of weird spices and pieces of weird delicious little…things. Anyways its very satisfying on its own and it can also be augmented.

My favorite Nong Shim-modification recipe is as follows:

- cut tofu into little cubes, slice up some baby bok choy and red onion and saute it all for a few minutes with soy sauce and any kind of oil.

- throw it in the soup.

- drizzle some more soy sauce and sriracha, for a little kick.

- dominate it.

The soup is $3.69 at your local eccentric Asian grocer. (sidebar: I just discovered it can be bought IN BULK online for half price) All the other ingredients included its still less than $5.00.

Peach Greyhound.

 

We drank these while basking in late afternoon California sun and listening to Otis Redding. They’re crisp and delicious and pack. a. punch.

ingreds…

gin
unsweetened grapefruit juice 
club soda
basil
garnish with: peach slices, strawberries, cucumbers, whatever you’ve got.

-Muddle the basil in the bottom of the glass, then add a whole bunch of ice cubes. Add as much gin as you think you can handle, fill the rest up with grapefruit juice, splash off the top with soda. Garnish as you see fit.

The Perfect Poach

Breakfast is the best meal. And the best breakfast is some type of poached egg situation, in my opinion. Poached-egg-making is really hard, especially for some people. I have perfected it. Behold:

 

-   lots of water in a large pot. you really want the eggs to be free to float around without being nudged or molested by another egg.

-   pour a smidgen of any clear vinegar into the water. it won’t effect the taste but it makes the eggs set. don’t ask, I have no idea.

-   boil it, then turn it down to a gentle simmer.

-   GINGERLY crack the eggs into the water.

-   stand there and stare at them. they cook quickly, don’t get side-tracked

-   after no more than 2 mins turn off the burner and find yourself a large slotted spoon.

-   GINGERLY fish them out, if you pierce it you’re SOL and you have to start    over.

-   place them in a cute bowl. you may have scooped up some water along with the huevo, you can strain it out or sop it up with a paper towel. GINGERLY.

-   sprinkle with a little s & p. serve with breakfast accoutrement of your choosing (bacon, english muff)

-   OR you can fashion yourself a little off-the-cuff hollandaise with yoghurt, dijon, a tiny bit of vinegar, salt and pep, tabasco and lemon juice. drizzle.

-   woo hoo!